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7 Things Successful Women Never Do

LaRae Quy

LaRae Quy

7 Things Successful Women Never Do
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Often I was the only female FBI agent on my squad. I learned how to be successful amidst a variety of situations and circumstances. Most importantly, I learned what not to do if I wanted to compete in a male dominated environment:

Here are 7 things successful women never do:


Successful women know they need to confront their fears head-on. They do not waste valuable energy trying to avoid them; instead, they manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Suppressing a negative feeling only gives it more power, fueling our fears and slowing us down. In fact, trying to control what we fear will increase the likelihood it will happen.


Successful women have gotten burned by conflict, criticism, and unfairness—just like everyone else. The difference is that they were not cowered into accommodating others to avoid enduring those negative feelings again.

People who shy away from conflict assume that conflict always looks aggressive, overbearing, and disrespectful. This is not true because conflict can camouflage itself in many forms. We need to be alert for any behavior from others that is attempting to manipulate our emotions or thoughts. Once we recognize conflict for what it is, we can choose how we respond to it, rather than react out of fear or ignorance.


Successful women eliminate inner voices of doubt and anxiety. They have the mental strength to focus their attention on positive feedback and constructive criticism.

Mental toughness is being able to control how your mind thinks, rather than letting your mind control you.

If left on its own, our mind always defaults to fear and anxiety because the “fight or flight” response has kept us safe since the caveman days. But not everything that is new or different is a threat to our safety in this day and age, so we need to stay calm and regain control of our emotional responses.


Successful women do not worry that conditions are not perfect. They can differentiate between the pain of growing and the pain of suffering.

It’s easy to say that conditions are poor, nothing is going your way, and that you’ve been dealt an unfair hand. These are all excuses as you move further down the road of surrender.

Use what is at your disposal to keep moving forward in life—take a tip from MacGyver and learn to make the best of your situation. Mental toughness is approaching your circumstances with the right perspective and not expecting a break.


Successful women value their past mistakes because they have learned from them. They don’t hold on to guilt or regret; instead, they learn from the past and then they let it go.

Some mistakes from our past were painful or bad, but instead of wallowing in misery, look at them as opportunities to learn something that you didn’t know before it happened. Walk beside friends and colleagues who have made mistakes—you can learn from them, too.

The past does not define us, it simply prepares us for our journey toward success and wisdom.


Successful women know that many times the best way to be successful is to do what others are unwilling to do.

Identify those things that others hesitate to take on. It can be small and simple—it doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, do it well and you will instantly differentiate yourself from the pack.

Then keep going because you never know where it will lead; often, we don’t know what opportunity looks like until we’re closer to it.


Successful women know they are in total control of their life.

One of my favorite quotes is from St. Ignatius of Loyola: “Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.”

Many people make excuses for themselves by saying luck determines whether they are successful or not. Mentally strong leaders are in control of their own luck because they see success or failure as something over which they are in control.

Luck may have had some role in their present circumstances, but they don’t waste mental energy by worrying about what might happen.

Control your own luck by seizing opportunities to improve your life and situation. The result will either be a lucky break or the regret of a road not taken.

LaRae’s Book: Secrets of a Strong Mind

  1. Kimberly Drobot 3 years ago

    I believe this book just might have some more knowledge and support that I am seeking to give my mind a good workout… Success can be mine again I know I just need to use this major life altering set back as the blessings in disguise that were revealed to me and not allow my fears or the judgment of others hold me back. I believe the first person to believe in myself is me… My strong mind is what created the bed where I lain and it will also be the force to allow me to rise and soar again. My hope is that this book will be the gentle and loud whispers I need to hear again… I have no shame asking for help pride will only keep me held prisoner. Kimberly Drobot :)~

  2. LaRae Quy 3 years ago

    My book goes into detail on some of the tough things I’ve had to face in life, starting at an early growing up on a cattle ranch in Wyoming, going through the FBI Academy (which was not easy and I was almost washed out), and then surviving in situations where I felt I had no confidence or experience.

    A strong mind believes that they will prevail in their circumstances…and here is a hint: go back in your life and remember those times when you did prevail when things were going against you. They are there—or you wouldn’t be here today! So claim your ownership of the times you have prevailed in your circumstances…then dig down and recall your attitude, behavior, and the people who helped you move on. If you’ve done it once, you can do it again!

    All best, Kimberly! And let me know how it goes…

  3. Toni Langdon 3 years ago

    Thank you LaRae! These are great! I always say the most successful people have gumption! They may not be the most talented or brilliant (contrary to popular belief)…instead I believe that successful people are able to focus and grind to get what they want and not let little crap get in the way! and

  4. LaRae Quy 3 years ago

    So true, Toni!

    The most successful people are not always the smartest or most talented, but they do have grit! It takes mental toughness to stick with it through thick and thin and never stop believing in yourself!

    Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Iva Ursano 3 years ago

    What a great article! Thanx for sharing. I I am so fixed on looking forward and knowing that I am the only ME in the world and that is the best life ever!!

  6. LaRae Quy 3 years ago

    Thanks for reading it, Iva!

    Love your outlook—keep focused on the future! All best to you!

  7. Dawn-Marie 3 years ago

    LaRae, thank you for putting this article out there. It’s very fascinating and as women I always feel we need to work twice as hard to get the respect of being an independent business woman and not feel like we’re not “allowed” to win in business.. So thanks again for proving them wrong :)

  8. LaRae Quy 3 years ago

    Thank you, Dawn-Marie!

    It’s an interesting time for women around the world as more and more people realize how integral women are to changing the societies we live in.

    And thank you for supporting websites like Business Women Experts!

  9. Name*Eziamaka 3 years ago

    Thank you LaRae,this is inspiring.

  10. LaRae Quy 3 years ago

    And thank you, Eziamaka!

  11. kusum singh varanasi 3 years ago

    I really like this article. Very true and salute to all women

  12. Kelly Wonderlin 3 years ago

    What a great article! Thanks for sharing. I always enjoy looking at this website! XO